The long and short of it

It's not easy being a parent.
It can be made even more difficult when parents have different views on how their children are to be raised.
Let's go one further.
How about when parents are no longer married, have different views on how their children should be raised, and are trying desperately to NOT talk smack about the other one.

I wish I could say that this argument was about something new.
Yet here I am reeling from one of the weirdest arguments I have ever had.
About hair.

Here is where it gets hard.
I can't sit with my ex-husband and needle out of him the reasons that this is the battle he has chosen.  I can't delve into his mind and heart to see what issues might lie there.  That is no longer allowed.
So I try very hard to stay out of it.
I listen to my son as he vents his frustrations, and then I encourage him to talk to his father.
I might give him suggestions on how to approach his father, or what he might say, but somehow I get sucked in.
The ex thinks we are conspiring against him and that couldn't be further from the truth.

What makes all of this even harder for me is the fact that Ryan's father is not my friend.  I don't like him.  He hurt me and when someone hurts me, I don't have time for them.  I won't waste my energy on anyone else who treated me the way Shane did.
But the fact that we have a child together throws all of my feelings towards him right out of the window.

I don't have luxury of telling him to fuck off.
I guess I could, but I choose to be an adult.
So I find saying things like, "I'm sorry you thought I was arguing with you" and "No I don't want to leave you out of the decision making because that wouldn't be fair."

I hate making nice with him, but my son looks up to me.
And I am not going to teach him how to be a dick.