How time flies...

From this...

To this...

Nine years already?

At least he takes after me.

Do we? Yes we do.

hug

   [huhg]  Show IPA verb, hugged, hug·ging, noun

verb (used with object)

1.

to clasp tightly in the arms, especially with affection;embrace.

2.

to cling firmly or fondly to; cherish: to hug an opinion.

3.

to keep close to, as in sailing, walking, or in moving along oralongside of: to hug the shore; to hug the road.

verb (used without object)

4.

to cling together; lie close.

Hugs can say many things.
They can say It's nice to see you old friend.
Or they can say I love you.

And sometimes they can say the words that are trapped inside.  Words that get caught between your heart and your lips; tripping over fear and tangling themselves in your throat.

Things like:

I know it's hard for you to connect to people, but I'm here...connecting to you.


Thank you for being my mother and my father, even though you didn't have to.


Or more simply...Don't let go.


It would be a wonderful thing to let go of those fears.  To say the words that are screaming to get out.
But sometimes a hug is all you have to show your affection.  It's the only way to tell someone that in that moment, everything else has disappeared and they are all that matters.  That moment will make you smile; make your heart beat faster.  And it will carry you through to the next time you wrap your arms around me and we can do it all over again.

To invite or to shun?

I talked to the ex about Ryan's birthday.
It's coming up soon and I wanted us to get our plans in order.

We used to take him somewhere, but now that he's married, he is uncomfortable with that.
So last year, we just had a little party at the house.  Grandma, Soon-to-be Step-mom, dad and me were all there.
It was nothing big, but we were all together.

I think Ryan really liked that.

But this year, the dad and step-mom are taking him to LazerTag.  With a friend and the friends' parents.
And then Sunday they are having cake with the grandma and the step-mom's parents.

There was never a thought to invite me.

So why do I feel obligated to invite them to stop over at my house for cake and ice-cream on Ryan's actual birthday (it's already my night with him)?

When I asked Shane if I could stop up to celebrate with them, I got the "I don't think her parents would be comfortable with that."

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???

So Ryan is forced to spend the rest of his birthdays and special events splitting them between his parents?
This is NOT what we agreed to when we split.
We agreed that we would put our bullshit aside so that Ryan would suffer as little as possible.

And even if I thought his bullshit excuse was true, I don't care.
Anyone who has an issue with the fact that Shane comes with a twisted package can fuck off.
To be honest, the same goes for me.

I'm still trying to decide what to do.
For now I have to figure out what I'm buying my lil man for his big 9!

Sometimes I just lose it.

My marbles.

For the most part, they stay fairly steady.

But there are moments (and thankfully they are few and far between) where I lose them.

Just flat out go bonkers.

Today, I had one of those moments.

I'm not proud of it.

But I'm going to share it anyway.

Perhaps I'm a tad sadistic.

Plus I think you'll get a little chuckle out of it.

For the few people who actually pay attention to my Facebook feed, they know that the past couple of days has been riddled with constant beeping/chirping from the stupid alarm system that the ex had installed a few years ago.

• Side note: Security systems have always been, in my mind, something that only rich  people have.  Logically I know that isn't true, but it feels very strange to have one installed in my home.  Perhaps that is why I have so much animosity toward this cockfucking thing.

To deal with the chirping I took the AC adapter out of the main unit.  I was hoping that the battery back-up would die and I could finally live in peace.

That is, until the damn thing started chirping every five minutes.

And if I haven't mentioned it before, this chirping is freaking LOUD!

So today I broke down, bought a battery for the smoke detector (the culprit which initiated the chirping), put it in and re-installed the AC adapter on the main unit.

I thought everything was cool until the damn thing started chirping again.

Every five minutes.

Again.

FUCK!

So without an instruction manual I start pressing buttons on the main unit.  I am trying to turn down the volume, bypass it, tell it to fuck off.

Anything to get the chirping to stop.

And then it happened.

I tripped the alarm.

Now when I say the alarm was loud, that doesn't seem to get the full point across.

Have you ever stood next to an emergency vehicle while the siren is going off?

This was 10 times worse.

It literally felt like someone was taking an ice pick to my ear drum.

I grabbed my phone and dialed the ex's number in hope that he might have an answer for me.

While I waited for him to pick up I helplessly stabbed at the panel hoping to get the code to work.  

Each time I plugged in those numbers, I was let down.

The ex answers and I'm screaming at him for answers.

By this point (about 30 seconds in) my ear is throbbing.

And here is how the rest of the conversation went...

Did you try the code?

GEE, WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?

You know what the code is right?

YES, ASSHOLE.  I'VE ALREADY TRIED IT FIVE TIMES AND IT ISN'T WORKING.

Have you unplugged it?

I NEED A SCREWDRIVER FOR THAT.  IT'S SCREWED INTO THE FUCKING WALL.

Well, get a screwdriver then.

I GRABBED ONE WHILE YOU ASKED ME A STUPID QUESTION.  I'M TRYING TO UNSCREW THE THING.  HOLY SHIT MY EAR FUCKING HURTS!

(I finally get the thing unscrewed and it's STILL going off like a banshee in heat)

IT DIDN'T WORK!  FUCK!  IT DIDN'T WORK.  SHANE...IT DIDN'T WORK.  WHAT THE  HELL DO I DO?

(And here, in this exact moment, all logic flew out the window and I lost all control over rational thought.)

I'm not sure, can you take the cover off?

HOLD ON I NEED ANOTHER SCREW DRIVER FOR THAT.  I SWEAR I'M GONNA BREAK THIS FUCKING THING OFF THE WALL.  HOLY FUCK MY EAR IS GONNA BURST.  I'M GOING TO PUNCH THIS FUCKING THING!  OKAY THE COVER IS OFF, NOW WHAT?

I don't know.

JESUS CHRIST SHANE.  THIS IS THE DUMBEST THING YOU EVER DID.  THE NEXT TIME I SEE YOU I'M GONNA PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE FOR BEING SO FUCKING STUPID!!

(Queue the tears)  (Oh and my ear has long passed ringing and I think my ear drum has gone numb)

Um...okay.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!  I AM PULLING SHIT AND NOTHING IS COMING LOSE!  WHAT THE FUCK??  

oh.

um...the cover just broke.

The alarm has actually stopped going off at this point, and I just stared at it in disbelief.  

Here is the aftermath:

I am embarrassed to say that when I say tears above, what I really mean is broken down, ugly face bawling.

a.k.a.  Bat shit crazy

I apologized to Shane over and over again.  It wasn't his fault at all and he was trying to help me.  

But do you wanna know the really shitty part of this story?

The damn thing is still fucking chirping.

Crafty Kitchen art for under $15.00!

Yesterday's post left me feeling melancholy.

But there is nothing like finding a great deal at Target to lift your mood.

It's even better when it is unexpected!

My sole purpose was to find a battery for the annoying chirping that has been ringing in my ears thanks to a security system that I don't even use.  But alas, this battery is the elusive 3volt Lithium (followed by other numbers that I'm sure are important) and Target does not carry said battery.

Nice.

Well I can't just leave.

I have to at least take a gander at a few aisles.

I don't always buy anything...but if I leave without looking, how will I know if I missed out on anything?

Thank goodness I did, because looky what I found!!

A place mat for $.58, three frames $3.99 each and cloth napkins for $1.48 each.

The napkins will be saved for a future project...but on to the other stuff.

First I cut out the utensil shapes from the place mat.  I tried to use an exacto knife but it wasn't cutting through the thick plastic material.  So I winged it with scissors and ended up with this.

Then I cut black card stock to fit the frame.

First I lined up the 'picture' that comes in the frame to get my size.

Remember to hold the picture firmly in place and line both sides.

Here is what I ended up with...a nice template so I can tell where to cut.

Now I use a paper cutter that I picked up at a craft store for under $10.00.  There are more complicated advanced ones on the market but this suits my needs just fine.  You can use scissors but if you want clean lines this is the way to go.  (Note: If you are using scissors, make your space just slightly larger to allow for mistakes...you can always trim later).

Once you have your paper cut, it's time for some gluing.

Regular Elmer's Glue works just fine for this project.

Or in my case...Crayola School Glue.

Now glue your plastic/mat utensils onto the paper.  I just eyeballed it.

All that's left is to frame the art and hang!

Voila!  Kitchen art for $12.55

Easy Peasy Lemon Squeazy.

This project took me about 1 hour.  Most people have glue and scissors, and maybe even some extra frames hanging around the house.

If you don't have card stock, you can use construction paper which is much cheaper!  Just be careful with what size frames you buy.

Just remember that being crafty isn't about being perfect.
It's about creating something.