Is pimping myself out illegal?

I've been hit in the gut this weekend, by my ATM 'available balance' receipt. Fucking little piece of nazi paper!! I have less in my bank account than what my rent is, and it's PAST the 1st. How the hell did this happen? I just went over my budget and according to what I have written in stone I should be barely $300.00 in the plus every month. Um...I can testify that IT AIN'T HAPPENING! What the fuck? Mutha fucking shit. What really gets my goat is that I don't spend money. I don't go anywhere to spend money. Sure I might buy shampoo and hair goo and the occasional bag of chips...but seriously, I don't spend money! My only luxury is fucking Netflix and I'm contemplating dropping that so I can bank roll that extra $13.99 a month. The other thing that pisses me off is my hopefully soon-to-be-ex-husband is pulling in at least twice what I'm making, possibly three times the amount. And he's installing alarm systems in his home and taking whirlwind vacations to Disneyworld. Fuck yeah that's fair. I'm having panic attacks for spending $20.00 to take Ryan to the fucking drive-in for something special to do this weekend. Suddenly a trip to the teeny park across the street is looking like our vacation this year. And I was in a good mood for the last few days. Fuck my life.

A veil has been lifted

I'm not sure what happened but I seem to be in a better mood lately. Not recovered completely but feeling better. Which is a good thing because I'm getting set to visit my friend Jenn in Rochester, New York. I really don't think she wants to watch me be a complete and total bitch for two whole days. I could be wrong but most people aren't really comfortable with that whole 'I hate everyone' kind of attitude. Ryan and Shane are back from vacation too so seeing my little man again, might have a bit to do with my lifted mood as well. I can't believe how much I missed him. So it's with a lighter heart that I sit here now and watch 'Bolt' with my little guy. I have to say I find myself identifying with Rhino, the hamster. How, you ask, can one identify with a hamster. Easy is my answer. He's chubby, prone to histrionics, and ready to fight evil with a talking dog. TOTALLY the way I live every day. Have I mentioned that might be just a bit crazy? Maybe that's the real reason for my great mood. I've finally given in to the voices.