What an amazing weekend.
The weather might have been too hot for my delicate skin, but it didn't stop me from fun, frivolity, and general debauchery.
Friday was filled with rain, Five guys burgers and fries, fetishes and sweet mint tea vodka. Yum!
Not to mention spending time with one of my bestest-est-est friends in the whole wide world. I seriously love you woman.
Saturday I went shopping and bought myself some much needed summer gear. I have to say, I absolutely hate dressing room mirrors. But my attention was diverted by the woman in the room next to me.
Let's take a moment here to talk about manners.
Seriously people. Nobody wants to hear you drop the F-bomb in the middle of Lane Bryant. It makes you sound uneducated. So do yourself a favor and find new words. Barnes and Noble sells Thesauruses for under $10.00.
And one more thing, put on a fucking bra, whore.
Sunday.
Where do I begin with Sunday.
I learned about things like ropes, bajingo songs, shrimping, donkey blow, girth, thunder-cum, and throat punches.
But the most important thing I learned is that my friends are awesome (okay, I already knew that); new friends are just as great; and music really is the glue that holds us together. Or is that beer?
At any rate, I had the best time just chillin with some really great people.
And for anyone who missed it (or needs a replay), Alan rubbed himself like a girl.
You're welcome.
One more thing...when are we doing it again?
Good times people. Good times.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
The Ugly Truth
The envelope was addressed to me, with no return address on it.
Just a plain white, legal sized envelope.
Thin.
I ripped open the seam and pulled out one tri-folded piece of paper.
I could see a gold seal on one of the folds.
I slowly opened the sheet of paper and written across the top was two words.
Divorce Decree.
So it was done.
As of May 24th 2011 I was no longer bound by the laws of matrimony.
Without realizing why, I felt tears stinging my eyes.
Why?
I knew this was coming. I filed the papers!
But it felt right to be sad.
My husband was the one person in this world that made me feel...well, great. We were happy. And not in that "we're happy in public but miserable at home" type of way. We were truly and genuinly happy.
And to know that bad things could creep into that happiness and mar it with ugliness makes me unbeliebably sad.
And I think it should.
Relationships aren't easy. They can be ugly, dirty and messy. But fighting through that is what makes them beautiful. Knowing that the other person is worth fighting for, is what makes them wonderful.
Seeing a relationship come to an end is not something to celebrate.
It doesn't make me smile.
Although I know that following through with this divorce was the right thing for me, it will never make me happy.
And I truly wish nothing but the best for Shane.
I can only hope, in a wierd way, that he feels the same way I do.
I hope he mourns the loss of our great relationship, if not with me, then for me.
Just a plain white, legal sized envelope.
Thin.
I ripped open the seam and pulled out one tri-folded piece of paper.
I could see a gold seal on one of the folds.
I slowly opened the sheet of paper and written across the top was two words.
Divorce Decree.
So it was done.
As of May 24th 2011 I was no longer bound by the laws of matrimony.
Without realizing why, I felt tears stinging my eyes.
Why?
I knew this was coming. I filed the papers!
But it felt right to be sad.
My husband was the one person in this world that made me feel...well, great. We were happy. And not in that "we're happy in public but miserable at home" type of way. We were truly and genuinly happy.
And to know that bad things could creep into that happiness and mar it with ugliness makes me unbeliebably sad.
And I think it should.
Relationships aren't easy. They can be ugly, dirty and messy. But fighting through that is what makes them beautiful. Knowing that the other person is worth fighting for, is what makes them wonderful.
Seeing a relationship come to an end is not something to celebrate.
It doesn't make me smile.
Although I know that following through with this divorce was the right thing for me, it will never make me happy.
And I truly wish nothing but the best for Shane.
I can only hope, in a wierd way, that he feels the same way I do.
I hope he mourns the loss of our great relationship, if not with me, then for me.
Monday, May 23, 2011
I'm lonely, but at least I have a virus.
So I'm in the midst of one of my slumps again.
It's common knowledge to my brain that I go through an emotional cycle. At some point I am accepting of all things thrown my way and I feel good. And before I know it, I am paranoid that all my friends are secretly plotting ways to end our friendship and I am destined to be alone forever.
No in between...just one or the other.
I recognize when I'm in either cycle, but when I'm down, it is really hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Anyway,I had this really awesome post being written in my brain, that I was going to type up yesterday. In it I talked about the woes of being a single mom; not really understanding who I am; asking how on earth am I supposed to even think about dating when my time feels very limited; wondering if I will wake up 10 years from now and be stuck in this same situation.
You know, just some casual life questions.
But when I turned on my computer I discovered that I had a nasty ass virus on it. I tried for at least 2 hours to work on removing it, but no luck.
I hate making blog posts while I'm at work. Sometimes re-living these thoughts makes me cry and I hate crying here. People I work with might start to believe I have an actual heart beating within my chest, and that just would not be good.
So now I will be stuck for God knows how long trying to remove this crap from my home computer just so I can continue to blog, write and surf for amputee porn; instead of sulking in my recliner until I feel better.
Don't these hackers have something better to do?
Like help Joe Montegna catch bad guys?
It's common knowledge to my brain that I go through an emotional cycle. At some point I am accepting of all things thrown my way and I feel good. And before I know it, I am paranoid that all my friends are secretly plotting ways to end our friendship and I am destined to be alone forever.
No in between...just one or the other.
I recognize when I'm in either cycle, but when I'm down, it is really hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Anyway,I had this really awesome post being written in my brain, that I was going to type up yesterday. In it I talked about the woes of being a single mom; not really understanding who I am; asking how on earth am I supposed to even think about dating when my time feels very limited; wondering if I will wake up 10 years from now and be stuck in this same situation.
You know, just some casual life questions.
But when I turned on my computer I discovered that I had a nasty ass virus on it. I tried for at least 2 hours to work on removing it, but no luck.
I hate making blog posts while I'm at work. Sometimes re-living these thoughts makes me cry and I hate crying here. People I work with might start to believe I have an actual heart beating within my chest, and that just would not be good.
So now I will be stuck for God knows how long trying to remove this crap from my home computer just so I can continue to blog, write and surf for amputee porn; instead of sulking in my recliner until I feel better.
Don't these hackers have something better to do?
Like help Joe Montegna catch bad guys?
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