Oranges grow on trees...

I didn't know what to call this post...but I really HATE my fucking job. My supervisor: 1. has no spine 2. is more defensive than a chastity belt 3. expects people to do stuff for her OUTSIDE OF WORK just because she asks My Sales Manager: 1. has a bark that only serves as a way of making him feel macho 'cause he has absolutely NO power 2. Wears flannel EVERY friday My VP of Sales 1. Makes promises to our customers that have no way of physically being met unless every one our company never goes home. 2. Throws around the 'everyone is replacable' crap 3. Drives the ugliest fucking car all while wearing fake Gucci shoes These are just some of the reasons I hate my job...there are far too many to list all of them. Can someone please call Hollywood and tell them I'm waiting for my closeup?

Someone suck me into a vortex already

What do you do when everything you've ever worked for, slips away so slowly that one day you turn around and it's all gone? I had the loving husband, the beautiful new bouncing baby boy, the sheer contentment that was my life. Now I have a dwindling bank account, no friends, a job I hate, and my son would rather not spend time with me. I don't recall ever feeling this lonely, ever. To make matters even worse, my 8th anniversary is this coming Tuesday. It doesn't mean anything anymore. It only serves to remind me of what I miss. I miss the man I married. He was a kind, caring, loving man who no longer exists anymore. I miss the family I had. We had fun for the short amount of time that we were happy. Now I struggle just to make my son happy. It's been a little over 18 months since I left my home and I feel no closer to moving on than the day I left. Sure I have days, even weeks when I feel a little bit better. But on the whole, I feel lost. Like something shifted in my own personal gravity and I no longer know what holds me here. What makes it all the worse is that it was nothing I did. I can't atone for any sins here. I am not the one who made the choices that led to the destruction of my happy life. So I how do I right the wrongs that I feel inside? How can I take control of something that is beyond my control?

Is pimping myself out illegal?

I've been hit in the gut this weekend, by my ATM 'available balance' receipt. Fucking little piece of nazi paper!! I have less in my bank account than what my rent is, and it's PAST the 1st. How the hell did this happen? I just went over my budget and according to what I have written in stone I should be barely $300.00 in the plus every month. Um...I can testify that IT AIN'T HAPPENING! What the fuck? Mutha fucking shit. What really gets my goat is that I don't spend money. I don't go anywhere to spend money. Sure I might buy shampoo and hair goo and the occasional bag of chips...but seriously, I don't spend money! My only luxury is fucking Netflix and I'm contemplating dropping that so I can bank roll that extra $13.99 a month. The other thing that pisses me off is my hopefully soon-to-be-ex-husband is pulling in at least twice what I'm making, possibly three times the amount. And he's installing alarm systems in his home and taking whirlwind vacations to Disneyworld. Fuck yeah that's fair. I'm having panic attacks for spending $20.00 to take Ryan to the fucking drive-in for something special to do this weekend. Suddenly a trip to the teeny park across the street is looking like our vacation this year. And I was in a good mood for the last few days. Fuck my life.