The bumps are more like mountains.

And it just keeps coming.Without going into too much detail, my UC benefits come to 30% of my previous gross income. 

There are no words.

For the past 8 years, the bumps in the road have been coming closer and closer together.  I take a few good steps and, BAM.  Another bump.

And even with those bumps, something keeps me going.

The love I have for my friends.
The love I have for my family.
The love I receive from both.
I have mad love for the people in my life.  Not just because they are here for me in my time of need.  But because they laugh with me when I'm happy. 

If you are reading this, consider yourself to be one of those amazing people I accept into my circle.
I only hope I give you the same love you shower upon me.
You deserve it.

That sounds so british

I'm good with words, when I write them.
Speaking them is not always easy, but usually I manage.
Singing words, I'm good at.
I'm better at it if the crowd is larger.  Mostly because I like singing with my eyes closed.
Actually making eye contact with someone while singing just feels weird and skeevy to me.  So singing into a camera is WAY out of my element.

But for the last few months my friends and family have been firmly telling me I need to post a video of me singing. 

Say, what?

Are these people crazy?

Maybe.  But I love them.  So how can I let them down?

How to make lemonade

So.

Life has thrown me yet another lemon.
I lost my job.
No more, kaput, fired, given the pink slip, laid off.
Whatever you want to call it, it sucks.

Friday at 2:00 (ish) I was called into my bosses office along with my friend and co-worker Chris Keller. I immediately went numb as soon as he asked me to shut the door. And that was it. I completely shut down.
All the things I wanted to say just flew out the window.
I couldn't look at anything but the floor.
And that figurative wall that exists around me grew 10 times thicker in a matter of seconds.

No way was this asshole going to see me cry. No way.
Because honestly, I hated that fucking place.
I hated what I became just walking in the door every morning.
I tried desperately to hang on to that little bit of myself that could see good in the world. Most days I succeeded. But every day I could feel little chips of my soul being harvested.  And I know I'm not the only one who felt that way.

So for the peers that fought in that place right along with me...I will miss you. Even if you did sometimes annoy me, mostly you made it a little bit easier to cope with the fact that I lived a cube for 45hours a week.

Chris Keller
Debbie Wolfe
Barbara Buchanan
Heather Kuhn
Rachel Shue
Joe Pelligrino
Steve Gentzler
Shirley Cohen
Bill Hayes
Greg Grim
John Lenick
Alissa Williams
Sabrina Ward
Ed MacDonald
Amy Allen
Maureen Zeplin
Donna Zaghary
Tena Moyer
Marie Martin
Jason Fowler
Sterling Lawrence
Roger Newcomer
Audrey Hoff
Amber Weaver
Rick Heilman
Nicole Ream
Richie Bowers
Deb Walls
Todd Gemmill
Smitha Mathew
Richard Gonzalez
Joe Bell
Nadine Kaltreider

I might not have known all of you well. But it sure was a pleasure working with you.
Keep your heads up, stay true to your wonderful souls and don't let 'the man' get you down.

And here's a little message to the upper management/owners that I had the misfortune to meet.
Karma is a bitch.

But, no worries. I know things will work out for me, in the end.
Because I plan on grabbing this lemon by the balls and making it my bitch.