Ryan: Mom, I miss being little.
Me: What do you miss about it?
Ryan: I don't know. I just miss it.
*He takes this moment to curl up on my lap as best he can. He's almost 5' tall so that is not an easy feat. Especially when I'm sitting on a tiny cushioned bench.
Me: Awww...do you miss snuggling with mama.
Ryan: Yeah, I guess.
Me: I used to hold you like this when you were a babe. I'd snuggle close to you and sing to get you to fall asleep.
Ryan: uh-huh
Me: Should I sing to you now? (pretending to joke with him but secretly hoping he says yes)
Ryan: sure, whatever (said only the way a child can say to a parent...irritation mixed with longing)
I sang one of the songs I used to sing to him when he WAS a baby.
The Dixie Chick's version of "Traveling Soldier".
The television downstairs was not turned up that loud. And with the general lack of furniture and wall art in my bedroom, the acoustics were great.
Ryan sat as close to me as he could, and all I could hear was his breathe.
I realized, as I got to the last verse, that he was wiping tears from his cheeks.
It wasn't just the song. It wasn't only my voice.
It was a moment that neither of us can quite explain.
A moment of remembrance for a time that feels long gone.
A time when things were simple and clear.
The most amazing thing?
I got to share that moment with my amazing son.
A boy who I know will grow into a wonderful young man.
And how can a mama be sad to see her son grow into something that she's already proud of?
